The moment your kid makes a travel ball team, you will be added to a group chat. This group chat will become the most active thread on your phone. It will never be relevant to you when it buzzes. It will always be relevant to you when you forget to check it.
The Monday Morning Schedule Drop
The coach posts the weekend schedule at 7:02 AM on Monday. By 7:04, three parents have asked questions that were answered in the original message. By 7:11, someone has asked what time to be there. It was in the first sentence. Nobody reads the first sentence.
The "Running Late" Message
Posted at 7:43 AM on game day by the parent who is always late. The estimated arrival time will be wrong. It is always wrong. “10 minutes away” means 25 minutes. “Almost there” means they just left. The coach has stopped responding to these messages. The coach just starts warm-ups.
The Weather Thread
Starts with one parent sharing a radar screenshot. Within 14 minutes, six different weather apps are represented. Someone will share a forecast from a county three states away. The Weather Warrior will post their analysis in paragraph form. The tournament director has not said a word. Everyone will refresh the app every 90 seconds for the next three hours.
The Thursday Night Lineup Question
“Any idea what the lineup is?” Posted as a casual question. Loaded with anxiety. Everyone wants to know. Nobody else asks because they're all waiting for someone else to ask. The coach will respond at 10:47 PM with “Posted in TeamSnap.” Half the parents will not know how to find it in TeamSnap. Three will text the coach privately.
The Photo Dump
After a tournament win, someone will upload 47 photos. They will all be slightly blurry. Your kid will be in three of them, in the background, facing the wrong direction. You will screenshot the one where they are almost visible and post it to your Instagram story like it's a magazine cover.
The Off-Topic Spiral
It starts with a question about batting practice times. Then someone mentions a good deal on bats at Dick's. Then someone shares a TikTok of a kid making a diving catch. Then someone asks about carpool. Then someone sends a meme. The original question never gets answered. Nobody notices.
The End-of-Season Thank You
One parent will write a heartfelt paragraph thanking the coaches, the team moms, and the parents. It will be genuinely nice. Then every parent will respond with their own paragraph. Your phone will buzz 28 times in 40 minutes. It is the only time all season the group chat is 100% positive.
Then tryouts start and a new group chat begins. The cycle continues.
You can mute it. You can hide it. You cannot escape it. The group chat is forever.
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